The untold

 

The risk I took, I never told. 

A few years ago I let go of my biggest fear of my life. As a child I had a traumatic experience that involved a cliffe, rocks and deep cold water. You are going to think I am crazy. I did the one thing they tell you not to do- trigger bad memories on purpose. I fronted up to my fear and to my memory.

I went back to where it all happened. Some days it took me time to get out of the car. Some days I forced myself out and others I did a circle and drove home again. For those days that I made it out of the car I walked up to the edge of the cliffe and took a seat. With no-one around me all I could hear was the sound of the waves crash against the rocks. Talk about triggering a memory. There was mini panic attacks, loads of tears and some screaming but I did it. At 20, going on 21, I was able to walk up to that cliffe and breathe normally. The fear was gone. The memory, not so much, but hey least I was not afraid anymore.

Would a councillor have told me to face my trauma, no. Would my family and friends support you, probably not.  Did I take a risk, yes.

Lesson learnt: They will call themselves experts but the councillors, parents and friends in your world do not understand you like you. Make your own decisions for a better you.

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